The below problems may result from particular sets of thinking patterns and beliefs that can, fortunately, be examined and dismantled.
- Feeling anxiety and fear
- Experiencing social anxiety
- Feeling like "something is wrong with me"
- Having an inferiority-complex
- Being a perfectionist/Fearing failure
- Having self-doubt
- Compulsively comparing yourself to others and feeling bad from the comparisons
- Being influenced by the emotions of others in a way one dislikes (some call this HSP)
- Fearing Rejection
Feeling anxiety and fear
When attempting to do something or maybe when you’re trying to rest, your heart may be racing, you may feel fidgety, and might be sweating or feel like your body’s temperature is uncomfortably rising or high. You may also find it more difficult to think straight or focus on whatever you’re doing at the moment. These symptoms may compel you to avoid situations or people you think will invoke these symptoms in you. It might sound unbelievable, but you are using fear/anxiety to help yourself somehow. Without this awareness it can be difficult to reduce anxiety which typically involves identifying the unconscious benefits anxiety gives you.
Experiencing social anxiety
I find it sensible for one to want to be liked, respected, non-judged, and able to act properly and say the right things in social settings. Unless one is perfect, it may be difficult to always reach a personal social standard one sets. The inability to accept that imperfection may lead to fear and anxiety in social settings. I view the term “social anxiety” as a way to bucket the different fears one has or experiences in regard to social situations.
Feeling like “something is wrong with me”
Things don’t always go our way despite our best efforts and sometimes we can’t pinpoint why we’re unable to fulfill our desires. When things in our life don’t make sense to us or we don’t measure up to our own standards or external standards we think we have to meet we may make what seems like a rational conclusion that something is wrong with us.
Having an inferiority-complex
When we see certain things in the world or compare ourselves to others we may use these things as evidence that we’re inferior. A potentially interesting thought experiment is to examine what “inferiority” really means to you and why exactly you believe in that concept.
Being a perfectionist/Fearing failure
You may believe there are certain situations where you can’t make a mistake or fall short of a standard you or others have set for yourself. Depending on how long you have felt like this, you might find this way of living stressful or exhausting but may struggle to see an alternative way of living since this “I have to hit this standard” mindset does and has produced results for you in the past.
Having self-doubt
It’s reasonable to want to know what to do and to be able to make the right decisions moment to moment but in moments where that clarity doesn’t exist, we may become hesitant to make decisions to avoid mistakes. We may fear mistakes because of the known or imagined consequences or may think mistakes mean something about us (see “something is wrong with me” above).
Compulsively comparing yourself to others and feeling bad from the comparisons
Unless you have proof of the contrary, everyone is unique, so comparing yourself to others is usually an unfair exercise to you and the person you’re comparing yourself to. There’s typically a set of reasons (beliefs) why we compare in a manner that makes us feel negative emotions and it’s difficult to stop what feels like an automatic human process without understanding those reasons and consciously choosing a different way of being.
Being influenced by the emotions of others in a way one dislikes (some call this HSP)
Some say this is mainly genetic and others state that being sensitive to the emotions of others is valuable but I encourage others to choose how they’d like to be. I’ve described how our perceptions generate our emotions and with self-reflection, you may see that our beliefs influence our perceptions. Sensitivity to the emotions of others is, therefore partly, if not mostly, a result of our beliefs. This sensitivity can diminish if one wants and chooses to discard the beliefs that fuel this sensitivity.
Fearing Rejection
Fear of rejection may stem from the pain one experiences when rejected. If one removes the pain, the fear will likely disappear as well. It may also benefit one’s emotional health to unpack what rejection means to them, which may differ depending on the situation.
