eliminate and understand social anxiety Triggers

What does anxiety feels like

When attempting to do something or trying to rest, our hearts may race, we may feel fidgety or light-headed, and we might sweat or feel like our body’s temperature is uncomfortably rising or high. While experiencing this, our voice may quiver when speaking, we may find it difficult to think straight, respond to questions and people how we’d like, or struggle focusing on whatever we’re doing at the moment. These symptoms may compel us to avoid situations or people we think will trigger these symptoms in us.

From the Anxiety and Depression Association of America: “The defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about acting or appearing visibly anxious (e.g., blushing, stumbling over words), or being viewed as stupid, awkward, or boring. As a result, they often avoid social or performance situations, and when a situation cannot be avoided, they experience significant anxiety and distress. Many people with social anxiety disorder also experience strong physical symptoms, such as a rapid heart rate, nausea, and sweating, and may experience full-blown attacks when confronting a feared situation. Although they recognize that their fear is excessive and unreasonable, people with social anxiety disorder often feel powerless against their anxiety.

Social anxiety disorder can wreak havoc on the lives of those who suffer from it. For example, individuals may decline a job opportunity that requires frequent interaction with new people or avoid going out to eat with friends due to a fear that their hands will shake when eating or drinking. Symptoms may be so extreme that they disrupt daily life and can interfere significantly with daily routines, occupational performance, or social life, making it difficult to complete school, interview and get a job, and have friendships and romantic relationships. People with social anxiety disorder are also at an increased risk for developing major depressive disorder and alcohol use disorders. 

Despite the availability of effective treatments, fewer than 5% of people of with social anxiety disorder seek treatment in the year following initial onset and more than a third of people report symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help.“

In 2016, I recognized I had social anxiety after realizing I struggled to express myself without fearing a self-conscious¹ “attack” or an unpleasant fight or flight trigger. This challenge made me hesitant to build romantic and personal relationships that would require me to share my feelings and talk about intimate things about myself (ex: talking about family, challenges and experiences in my past, etc).

I was not fond of the amount of anxiety I felt on a regular basis and have been on a personal mission since 2016 to eliminate my anxiety and its impact on the pursuit of my goals. Since 2016, I’ve studied and experimented with depth psychology, CBT, inner child work, amino acid therapy, mental health herbs, and nutritional psychiatry. I’ve now reached a point where I can identify a trigger, why it triggered me, and neutralize the trigger so it’ll no longer make me anxious in the future. I call this, emotional mastery. I use this capability to reduce the number of things that make me anxious for myself and others.

These are the steps I took to be able to identify an anxiety trigger, figure out why it triggered me, and neutralize the trigger so it’ll no longer make me anxious in the future.

It’s possible to reduce your anxiety on your own–if you have emotional mastery skills–or with the support of someone who knows how to help others uncover and understand their beliefs.

If you’d like to work with me, we’ll dive into the situations that make you anxious so that we can identify the beliefs that are causing the anxiety and work on changing those beliefs and worldviews. While doing this work, we’ll also be analyzing your beliefs about anxiety to see if you use anxiety to help yourself in any way. If you’re unaware that you use anxiety as a tool, it may be difficult to eliminate anxiety if it has unconscious benefits for you. Feel free to read My approach page for a more in-depth look into how we’ll uncover your anxiety-causing beliefs. As one works on their anxiety, they often experience more internal peace.

Note: I think it’s sensible to want to be liked, respected, non-judged, and able to act properly and say the right things in social settings. Unless one is perfect, it may be difficult to always reach a personal social standard one sets. The inability to accept that imperfection may be a source of the fear and anxiety one experiences in social settings.

The worldviews and beliefs that fuel social anxiety often fuel anxiety in general which is why addressing social anxiety can reduce overall anxiety.

1. By self-conscious I mean worrisome thoughts about how I’m being perceived like, “Do I look ok?”, “Do I look anxious?” “Am I making sense?” ↩︎